Thought 81

Once you’ve turned your house into a massive refrigerator, a penguin can be a pretty affordable pet.

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Thought 80

A good way to protect your children from tics in the summertime is to keep them on a healthy dose of chemotherapy.

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Thought 79

If you’re going to a nudist temple, make sure it’s not actually a Buddhist temple before you get involved.

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Thought 76

Probably one of the most tragic things I’ve ever seen was a game of musical wheelchairs.

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Thought 75

If robots could smile, I think we’d all be a little more open to letting them teach our children.

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Thought 74

If you and your friends want to play hockey, but you don’t have sticks, and the frozen pond is actually a grass field, you should probably just play soccer instead.

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Thought 73

If you’re trying to rescue someone in quicksand, and all you have available is a dust pan, a screen door and some rope, don’t just assume that you have to use everything. Sometimes there’s just stuff lying around for no reason.

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