Zingers

Thought 81

davidarmin — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:55:28 +0000

Once you’ve turned your house into a massive refrigerator, a penguin can be a pretty affordable pet.

Thought 80

davidarmin — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:06:35 +0000

A good way to protect your children from tics in the summertime is to keep them on a healthy dose of chemotherapy.

Thought 79

davidarmin — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:16:30 +0000

If you’re going to a nudist temple, make sure it’s not actually a Buddhist temple before you get involved.

Thought 76

davidarmin — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:05:08 +0000

Probably one of the most tragic things I’ve ever seen was a game of musical wheelchairs.

Thought 75

davidarmin — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:24:47 +0000

If robots could smile, I think we’d all be a little more open to letting them teach our children.

Thought 74

davidarmin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:01:45 +0000

If you and your friends want to play hockey, but you don’t have sticks, and the frozen pond is actually a grass field, you should probably just play soccer instead.

Thought 73

davidarmin — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:09:10 +0000

If you’re trying to rescue someone in quicksand, and all you have available is a dust pan, a screen door and some rope, don’t just assume that you have to use everything. Sometimes there’s just stuff lying around for no reason.

Thought 72

davidarmin — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:57:13 +0000

If you’re going to your first protest, don’t just assume they provide the signs. You have to bring your own.

Thought 71

davidarmin — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:50:00 +0000

I can’t wait until Scions get old so my Scion restoration shop can finally see a little success.

Thought 70

davidarmin — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 14:15:14 +0000

I think it’s about time for the tag office to start making their temporary tags more professional looking than sharpie on cardboard.